FREE

FREE . . . there are several definations on www.merium-webster.com, but here's just a few . . .

1) "having the legal and political rights of a citizen"

2) "not held as a slave or prisoner"

3) "not physically held by something"

As I was sketching this picutre, this thought came to me: "How am I free?"

I paused in my work and considered. Finally, I realized, oh yes! I'm free of sugar addiction! 

Now, this may sound odd to you, dear reader, but let me explain. For 4 years I struggled with always craving somthing sweet. 75% of my day was thinking about food, wether it be something sweet, feeling guilty for the last time I way over-indulged, felt sick, responded to that in a negative way, and then felt guilty all over again. Not to mention despairing and losing all hope of ever changing. It was a vicious cycle, friends, and it consumed my thoughts, my life. I wanted freedom so badly, and I didn't know what that looked like anymore. On top of that, I saw myself as overweight (which I was a little, but  not a ton by any means), and I knew sugar wasn't helping that. I knew if I continued this, my long-term healthy could be at stake. It wasn't that I didn't try to change. Oh I did! I wrote up plans of healthy steps to change, repented, searched my heart. I thought maybe it was all spiritual and there was something blocking my turn-around. I was at the end of rope, quite literally. I was about to accept the fact that perhaps there was no answer and I was unique. I would always be overweight. I would always struggle with sugar addiction. 

Enter Trim Healthy Mama. A friend posted a recipe from the book on facebook. I inquired, did some research and ordered the e-book. I devoured that book in 4 or 5 days. It's not just a recipe book, but truth about our bodies and food that I'd never heard of before. Or maybe I had, but I wasn't listening before...no, much of this was new and made perfect sense. It was about weight loss ulitimately, but about a healthy balanced lifestyle for whole families, not just women. As I read, lie after lie that I had believed ever since I'd gone vegetarian became exposed. I was shocked and overjoyed at once! This was about including all the food groups: dairy (yes, even butter! I hadn't eaten butter in years...or cream...or sour cream), meat, vegetables/fruits, and grains. The key was about what fuels your body is burning at what meal. So it meant knowledge about food. 

I did struggle for awhile as I learned this method of eating. It was so freeing to be eating so many wonderful foods I had denied myself! I still wasn't losing weight, but I pressed on because I began feeling so much better! I hadn't realized I'd been lacking some engergy before. I struggled with sugar a little, but after a couple months, as I decided to fully give myself to the THM style of eating, I noticed I did not crave sugar at all! 

So going back to my thought yesterday, "How am I free?," it dawned on my how it took me a few moments to remember that only four months ago I had been enslaved to sugar. You see, I didn't realize that what my body needed was good fats and more protein, and that these things didn't make me fat as I had believed. In fact, they made my body feel satieted, so I would NOT crave sugar. 

                                                            I AM FREE!

                                                            I AM FREE!

                                                            I AM FREE!

As a citizen of the Kingdom of YHVH, I have a authority (through Yeshua) and the freedom excercise my rights here on earth. That means I have authority to chose whether I will accept truth or not. I have authority whether I will act on what I hear. I have authority to tell my body what to do, even when I don't feel like doing it. I means, I have the political right to be free for "Christ has set us free." I have the right to embrace all his healing and wholeness for my body, soul, and spirit. And believe me there is allot of healing taking place in my way of thinking and habits and physically. 

No longer am I a slave to sugar, a prisoner to guilt and the cylcle of sinful actions (lack of self-control/"too much", bulimia, not accepting myself). No longer am I held captive by thoughts that literraly attacted me almost all day long. In fact, I rarely crave anything anymore! I don't struggle with self-control like I used to! Now, I enjoy food. I look forward to making delicious, nurtirious foods for me and my husband (and someday children). 

I give all the credit to YHVH, who DID answer me. He provided the answer I needed--Trim Healthy Mama. I AM FREE! I am free from guilt and shame, free from addiction, free in my thougts, free to enjoy life, health, and food! I thank YHVH! 

Isn't it amazing how quickly, we as humans can forget the ways GOD has healed us, restored us, delivered, etc? Perhaps, we ought to thank Him more. 

Often times, I have to remind myself to enjoy the journey and that healing does not always signify quick changes. Progress can have it's own pace for everyone or for every situation. And that's ok.